Archive for September, 2009

Welcome to Crackbook, Volume II

Posted in Uncategorized on September 14, 2009 by humourgod87

crackbook

There are so many annoying, funny, stupid, downright moronic things I could write about but I’ve chosen something almost everyone can familiarize themselves with. Facebook. Now yes, I know I’ve done a blog on Facebook already, but honestly everyday the site takes another stupid turn or puts something up I laugh about that how could I not write about it again? So I say….welcome to Crackbook….Volume II mother fuckers.

What’s the one thing people hate on Facebook? (Besides those ads for some beer party at some mansion that you or your puny friends will never attend). It’s application invites for applications they don’t want. I’m gonna single one out here: Farm town. Ok, when I say one, I mean all those stupid farm applications. Who has the time to tend to a fake farm? You wouldn’t see any of these people taking a rake or plow and digging in the dirt to get a few measly carrots. What’s funny though is the way the application invite asks if you’d like to join. They’ve gotten clever. “Help!There is a lost cow and he has no home. Will you help him?”. Well of course I’d like to help the stray cow, but if I help him all his cow friends are gonna be banging down my door. And who are they to play up on my compassion for stray animals. You know what, no I won’t give this stray cow a home, but sure as shit I’ll take him around the back of the barn, slaughter his ass and eat him medium rare with some A1 steak sauce.

farmtownWhen people take a quiz like “What’s your actual age?” What the fuck is there problem?! Do you really expect Facebook to give you a different answer then your real age? These quizzes are all over the place on this site. Idiotic things like “How will you die?” or “What’s your wedding date?”. First off, fuck you Facebook for allowing such retarded applications. Secondly, fuck you to the makers of these dumb quizzes. ANd literally, you take the quiz, it spits out your answer and then what? You never use that application again. It’s a one time thing, and you now look stupid for having to ask an application quiz on Facebook to tell you what your birthdate means. It means you’re a fucking idiot dickwad.

death-time

I like certain sites, and I usually stick to what I like. So what frustrates me and kinda makes me laugh at the same time is when people post links on Facebook that take you to a completely different website (half the time which you end up having to pay to get in, only to realize your friend just wanted you to watch a shitty 3 minute video of them doing something stupid). Now I’m all for youtube, and google links, funny videos but when I start seeing shit not even my dead grandmother would care to see, it’s just boring. No one cares that you think your cat talks and it’s totally cool and you plan to take him on David Letterman. Cut that shit out, you’re only looking like a complete asshole who’s full of themselves. Oh, and if you slowly somehow notice your friends number dwindling, it’s not Facebook. It’s you.

dance-video

Who seriously wishes they could dance as well as a 7 year old? Learn to fucking dance and shut up.

Pictures are a great way to let people know what you have been up to recently. But when people post pictures in May of something they did while they were on Christmas vacation, who cares? No one cares. It’s cool to see what you did at the cottage over the long weekend, and how your summer was but your poker night party from a few months ago isn’t earth shattering. No one will like your album and you’ll be shunned from society for making people believe you have a better social life then you do.

sausage-fest

Note: These photos are all from my own personal Facebook but I have protected identities for reasons. If I didn’t block your identity, it’s cause I don’t give a shit.

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