Garage sales, flushable wipes and “shocker” traffic signs

The warm weather has hit, and that means a whole shitload of things to come. Last weekend there was a garage sale and barbecue at the apartment I live in. Okay, maybe there wasn’t a barbecue but there should have been. Fuck it, I never even went to the garage sale either. And on that point, I guess it was just a sale, cause there was no garage, but is there ever these days? Think about it, in a few years down the road garage sales, rubbish sales, whatever you wanna call them, they’re gonna be phased out. Sites like Kajiji and craigslist are making the favourite pastime of garage sale hunting a thing of the past. By the way, who’s favourite thing is that?! They make it sound like a sport ha ha.

garage_sale_kajiji

You ever think of how things they invent can make the world a better place? No, me either. But strolling through the store the other day, I happen to see this:

cottonelle

Moist flushable wipes, really?! I mean come on Cottonelle. I hear this is a new phase going around, where people now prefer wiping with moist wipes instead of the regular old 2-ply (or for all you restaurant owners out there, the dreaded 1-ply). This is ridiculous to me. How did they test the differences between the 2 products. I think it’s hilarious Cottonelle, a brand known for selling it’s toilet paper would sell such a thing. I guess it’s better then some no name coming out with it though, cause no one would buy that shit if it was 99¢.

Reading over a story online, I found this interesting bit that says  that Ronald Reagan (whom most of us know from his presidency) had auditioned for a movie role in which he would star as the President of the United States. For everyone not aware of things, Ronald Reagan was an actor before he was the ACTUAL President. The funny thing is, is that the movie executives thought that he did not have the “presidential look” to pull it off in the movie so he was turned down. If Reagan winning the presidency in 1980 wasn’t the biggest “Fuck you” ever, ha ha. You tell ’em Ronald (it’s cool, I can call him that. We used to be poker buddies).

ronald_reagan2

It’s time for another installment of “Signs of the recession”. This shit is all over the place now. You can’t drive two minutes down the road without seeing some bullshit sign whether in favour or against the recession. Now when I say in favour, it’s against it but they try to put a positive spin on it. You know the signs I mean. Signs like “Sick of the recession? Come in for a $2 burger!”, or “Recession hitting you hard? Let us change your oil for a low price!”. That last one might be a little less likely, cause I know when the recession is hitting me hard, I don’t think how much I might need an oil change. But take a look, at how many different things I can find that show the ever growing recession:

inspection-report

That’s an inspection certificate. Great, at least they passed inspection. Wouldn’t something like that be of importance though, and maybe deserve a frame at least. No, it’s safe up high on that electrical box, don’t worry about it ha ha. Then check out this:

Security-stupidity

That folks, is a Smart car security vehicle. Security firms can’t even afford to get full sized cars anymore, fuck the recession. If you had to take someone into custody and wanted to hold them in your car, it’d better not be someone over 150 lbs or they’re not fitting in that fucker.  Funniest thing of the week….oh wait, I’m not done my blog yet.

BONUS: Shocker or flipping the bird, you decide!

IMG00257

It’s not great quality, but at first glance I thought this sign was flipping the middle finger, but look at it again and it might seem like a shocker. This one’s for you Kristin ha ha. Send your thoughts!

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One Response to “Garage sales, flushable wipes and “shocker” traffic signs”

  1. That Reagan story is awesome. Reminds me of Paul Rodriguez’s story about his third grade teacher who said he would be pumping gas for a living. He goes, “Mrs Summers: I hope you have HBO. Oh yeah, FUCK YOU.” haha

    Fantastic blog bro. 4/4, and that’s American so, with the exchange, it’s like 5/4.

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