Kraft Dinner Doritos, sweater vests and downright lies

Holy shit! It’s been fucking forever since I’ve blogged. But who gives a fuck, I guess you people reading this might, so it’s time to blog away.

I stumbled upon a culinary masterpiece a couple weeks ago, and fuck was it good. For all you people wondering what is was, it was Kraft Dinner and crumbled ranch doritos. Fuck, it is so good! It made me think, how did other combinations come together, and more so, what else might taste good together. Some things you love separately, like cotton candy. Nothing tastes quite as good as some sugar on a stick. And then there’s rum. Who doesn’t love a nice rum and coke. But together, those two would taste like shit! Back to the doritos thing though, absolutely fantastic food for kids and adults. If you’re looking for something new to try, or just wanna wonder what to do with the crumbs in the bottom of the bag, try this fucking recipe. Yes, I call it a recipe cause it’s worthy enough to be in a cookbook. If you eat this and don’t like it, you’re taste-buds are fucked.

KD-Doritos

I was driving around town a couple weeks back and I saw a sign (I really wish I had had time to take a picture) that was along the lines of this: “Pointts Traffic Tickets. Beware of imitations, come see the experts!”. Okay, what?! There’s imitation traffic ticket fighting agencies? I’d think if you wanted to fight a traffic ticket, you wouldn’t care what the name of the place was, as long as they assure you that you have a good chance of getting off scott free. In this recession world we live in right now, Pointts, you need to accept the fact that there is other places that do this and just laugh it off. I seriously can’t believe this is there strategy to get you to stop using competitors. You don’t see Visa telling Mastercard users that using MC will give you herpes. Pointts, you are hilarious!

visa-mastercard-STD

p.s. Mastercard users, you’re safe. You will not get herpes. As for you American Express users….well…yeah.

What is with sweater vests?! I’m just coming right out and saying it, they’re fucking stupid. It’s like “hmm I wanna be warm, but you know what? Fuck keeping my arms warm too. It’s not like I need them!”. And who the fuck wears these things? Uptight, white, business type men looking to look professional. Let me give you a tip idiots, it’s called a tie and a button up collared shirt. Preferably that shirt should be ironed and should be accompanied by black dress pants. Then just to give people you have the image of professionalism, wear dress shoes. If someone gets all the way to the shoes and thinks “I think some black high tops would complete this look”, dear God, no! Just stop living, it’d be better for everyone.

sweater-moronSomething occurred to me while roaming through the grocery store today. I saw a box of Honey Nut Cheerios. Now you might be thinking “how is this gonna be funny?”, and I thought the same thing. But there’s a point to this, trust me. Here it is: What nut exactly is in Honey Nut Cheerios? There isn’t one, that’s what one. In this peanut scared world, you’d think they’d mention that somewhere. What gives the cereal it’s “nut” flavour? I think it’s hilarious that I’ve never noticed this, and I give General Mills kudos for tricking us all for so long.

Cheerios

Watching Arthur 2 last week (and by watch I mean sorta listen to as I drew on the “sidelines”), I was like “why am I watching this?”, haha. Though I did get a good laugh from the ending. No, it’s not that I didn’t like the cheesy “he wins in the end and it’s all better” ending. It’s the freeze frame ending. And I’m not alone on this one here. I caught the tail end of Hello Again, another 80’s flick and again it ended in a freeze frame. Could these films not afford a true straight to black ending? Look at some 80’s movies and you’ll see it. When you do, laugh and think “hey, that Alex guy was right. He’s fucking smart”.

dirty-dancing

p.s. It’s a point to note, I know I used a Dirty Dancing image and I know the movie didn’t use a freeze frame ending (as far as I know).

BONUS: Turning the world on it’s side

IMG00161

Apparently the library wanted to have bigger monitors, so it turned them on its side. Notice how big it is if it had been left the way it was, haha.

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