Thoughts on paper

I realize I haven’t blogged in awhile, so I decided even if I wrote a short one, it’s better then no blog at all. I’ve been taking tons of pictures to use, but just haven’t found the motivation to write one recently. But I’m back, and I’m back hard! Get ready for this shit. Now this one probably won’t stick to the normal things that annoy me or make me laugh, it’s probably just things I saw and was like “hmm”. It could be annoying or funny though, sometimes both.

Driving home from the market one day, I see this sign:

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for those who can’t read, it’s a hearing and denture clinic. What the FUCK do those 2 have anything in common with?! And right next door is an animal clinic. What is this, the strip mall of unwanted things that they just stuck together to save some poor sap from having to give the hearing denture clinic prime space? If we’re combining things, why not make things like therapist dentist offices. They can rip your teeth out then you can complain how pricey it was and how it traumatized you. Still as idiotic as this sounds, I laughed at this sign.

Roaming the LCBO the one night a couple weekends ago, I naturally am indecisive (it comes with being a Libra). After several minutes I am pretty much unsure and just looking at every lable to see what has the most alcohol. That’s when I stumbled upon this:

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Now it’s not that I’m homophobic or anything like that, but I’m sure the name is what made me laugh. Needless to say, I didn’t buy it. Right next to this was the “Lesbian Rockstar Vodka”.

Stop the presses! About to be told is yet ANOTHER Wal-Mart story. Wandering around, as I sometimes find myself when I want to kill ten minutes or so I found this:

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Now yes I understand it’s just Splenda, but it was in the pharmacy section. Why the fuck was Splenda in the pharmacy section?! It has no medicinal value. Literally in the next aisle over was laxatives. This made me never wanna eat sugar again when I thought of the two together.

You ever see one of those places that says “Do not put cash through door slot”? It seems pretty reasonable why they would put it, cause people would bust through a door to get some cash. But then when you put a sign further down that makes it seem “if you are putting cash in, please do it carefully….and make sure no one is watching”. Here’s a prime examaple:

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The sign on the main door reads: No cash on premises. Alright, thanks for the info. Burglars can now know not to even bother with this place. But then the sign at the bottom reads: Do not place cash through mail slot. This leads me to believe if they aren’t placing it through the mail slot, they’re taking the money into the building. Mother fuckers, you just contradicted yourselves on paned glass, congratulations.

Bonus: City Recession Part II

Not only is paint coming off the roads out there, the city is making one legged walking signs. Cheap asses!

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What does that mean, you have to hop across the street?


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One Response to “Thoughts on paper”

  1. slenda should be next to the memory enhancers as it can reduce your memory or..umm.. i think i read something like that somewhere.

    thanks for blogging something… it kept me busy for a few minutes at least 🙂

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