Subliminal messages, Christian sex and white outs

Well if you’re here, then you’re reading my blog. Good, but keep reading. This is just the intro shit I write. It’s April finally, and Aside from what I wrote the other day this is my first entry of the month. Saddle up folks, it’s gonna be a bumpy ride.

What the fuck is with hidden subliminal messages these days? Everywhere you look, it’s all over the fucking place. So I’m sitting waiting for a movie to start the other day and finally it begins. Naturally I expect to see previews for other flicks when the screen comes on, but not these days. Someone decided in there bright mind “Hey, let’s put commercials in before the previews cause people don’t get enough of this shit at home”. First off, we get enough of it at home so stop it. Secondly, when I see subliminal messaging commercials that hint at something utterly disgusting, especially in a kids movie it’s even more wrong. Stick the subliminal messaging to some cell phone commercial or something.

subliminal

Now I’m not here to bash Christianity at all, but I heard a story the other day. There was a woman who had 15 children, and a reality show was taping her during her 16th pregnancy. Now 16 children is a lot, and you’d think “16 is enough, let’s stop having kids now”, right? Oh not this woman. After the show it reveals the women had 2 more children, bringing it up to 18 and was pregnant with her 19th child. She claims it was God’s will for her to spread as much love as she could. Listen lady, you’ve done your part now stop fucking and having kids. I say stop fucking cause literally this woman believes if she fucks, she does it to have children. I know it’s part of the Christian beliefs that sex is for procreation and not pleasure, but when is the line drawn where someone says “That’s enough kids, no more”? Try fucking for something other then kids. You’ll find out it’s incredible and when you don’t have to push something out in 9 months it’s even nicer.

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So I’m at the health card office the other day with my sister so she can update her address on her card. First thing, we get there and it is packed to the roof. She gets a number, fills out some papers and we wait for them to call her number. Sitting there bored out of my fucking mind, I notice they have a security guard there. Honestly?! Why does the health card office need security? Is someone stealing  too many pens, maybe forms. It made no sense to me. Though his other job entailed yelling people’s numbers up and telling them which gate to go to. I thought I’d give it a try, so I yelled out a few numbers and gates. I was louder then that guy. Give me a few weeks for my security license to come in and I’ll have that guys job ha ha.

security

Now I know it’s getting warmer out so talking about snow is the last thing anyone wants to read about. But I said I’d blog about it, so I should before it gets even warmer. One night a couple friends and I are out driving, shooting the shit and such. Somehow we ended up in Waterloo (when I say “somehow” I mean she drove randomly along the highway, and she got off at that exit. Also when I say “that exit”, I automatically expect everyone to know the exit I mean, and because I forget which one it was ha ha). So were driving around, and decide to jump back on the highway to head home. Suddenly the weather shifts from nice snow falling, to white outs as far as we can see (which isn’t far), and nothing to guide us. We were literally driving blind. And to make things worse, after about the first ten meters driving, the lights along the sides of the highway, those huge mother fuckers. Yeah, they weren’t lit. Actually, I’m pretty sure they didn’t even have any. Are you kidding me?! Why is it not important to have lights along the highway? Next thing I plan on writing will start as follows: “Dear Mr. Harper….fuck you”.

white-out-conditions

Bonus: Spot the real dog

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If you really can’t see it, he’s the giant one in the middle.

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6 Responses to “Subliminal messages, Christian sex and white outs”

  1. HAHAHA i think this is one of your best yet alex lol….the woman who has like 19 kids…..now that is messed….lol clown car!!!!!!!! Now as for the guard thing at the health card place lol are you kidding me alex you have to know why look at how busy that place is and people get angry and all of a sudden there are brawls lol and i love my job that picture is perfect lol hahahahaha just stick the computer in front of me lol cant wait for the next one already lol

    • I wouldn’t be getting into any fights in the health card office. Say I get stabbed and need medical attention… then I’m fucked because I didn’t get my health card. LOL

  2. northfield

  3. sexiimama Says:

    LMFAO YOU JINXED it ALEX!! YOU BLOGGED ABOUT SNOW AND WE GOT SNOW..WE ARE SO IN A F*CKING FIGHT! lol Anyways this one was funnier then the rest..btw..how did you manage to get a pic of April at work? lmfao !!! ahahaha LOL ahahha LOL That was good..maybe I should start blogging myself LOL and your right..it was Northfield lmfao..ahhahhhaha lol

    • humourgod87 Says:

      I blogged about a story about you, and you still get upset?! I might have to stop blogging your stories if this is what I get, haha. If I blog about sun, maybe it will happen. Fingers crossed. And naturally I cannot say how I got the picture of April at work, it’s top secret. Keep reading Bella 🙂

      p.s. I blog about your stories cause you interest me and you have funny things people should hear about

  4. I think it’s Catholics who only fuck to make babies. Christians are pretty wild in the sack. Have you seen this website? http://christiannymphos.org/ LOL

    PS – you blogged about snow and it snowed. It’s on, mother fucker.

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