Wi-fi, spelling and the recession

Good day folks. Blogging on such a nice day, out on the balcony, and it feels fucking phenomenal. Wind blowing in my hair, all that great spring time shit. But fuck, let’s get to it. I haven’t blogged in a few days, and I say it everytime but honestly, I’m sorry to my loyal readers for making you wait. You can kindly pass me a “fuck you Alex”, or even a “eat shit, where’s your blog?!” and I’d totally understand.

Topic number one, motherfuckers. There’s these people out there, and when I describe them I’m sure everyone has there own mental images of this stereotypical person. The people I’m talking about is those people who spell like tHiS or spell words in a funky way, ie. boii, sexii, holla etc. Now it doens’t nerve me so much, but could you not honestly spell something as simple as boy? And come on, it’s three fucking letters! When you spell boii, it’s an extra letter motherfucker. And what, was i the only vowel that works. It seems to be the “go to” vowel. It’s really the only one that fits. You aren’t gonna see someone chatting away on msn saying “Yo, wassup my boaa?”. I is the only vowel that works, it’s not even like you people took any effort to try. Fuck sakes it’s lazy on your part but making a short word longer by “slanging” it, you good sir get the fucked up award. Congratulations.

boii

(I’d like to point out, I do know some people who do that, and I’m totally making a joke of it for my blog sense. I in no way think any less of you. There’s one woman in specific who does it who I know will read this, so I wanna say thanks to her: Kristin, this one’s for you.)

Who’s ready for a rant? Well here goes. You know what I say fuck you to this blog, Twitter. Fucking lick the dog shit off the sidewalk you fucking stupid, cunt licking, waste of time, asshole eating, ball sucking site. What the fuck is the point? And before I get all you Twitter motherfuckers on here saying “Hey, shut up ok! It’s addictive and I like it”, fuck you. That’s literally all I have to say, fuck you. In two words I can sum up. I don’t need your stupid 141 word message to tell you how I feel. And yes, I have researched it so I know what it is before people come bashing me saying I don’t even know what it is. Get a life! If you have to know what someone is doing, give them a call cause checking someone’s status, or as they call it “following” someone’s twitter status’, you might as well be a fucking stalker. Fuck twitter, and fuck pointless sites.

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So I’m at Burger King the other day, getting some of those tasty little burger shots. I’m waiting in line for my burgers, and naturally I’m just looking around seeing if there’s anything interesting I can use for my blog. I take a look around and there’s a dude eating BK while surfing the web on his laptop. First of all, I didn’t even know BK offered wi-fi. They have updated there BK’s I will admit though, with the news on fucking 24/7. Who really wants to watch some shit about the economy with Stone Phillips while chowing down burgers? Secondly, could this guy not wait? The guy is wiping his hands constantly to make sure nothing got on his laptop, and I understand but maybe he could have just waited 5 to 10 minutes. Maybe he was on the BK website filling out his survey for a free whopper for all I know. Either way, it made me laugh.

bk-wifi

Surfing the web looking for pictures I stumbled on this. Germany, you funny sons a bitches.

burger-king-usb-sticks

Cities and townships are now struggling even harder in this economic recession we’re in, so we’re starting to see the effects of it. I was walking to get some DVD’s the other day, and noticed this:

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Kitchener, what kind of paint are you using?! Still, it’s funny how we’ll replace walk sign bulbs that are missing a leg or something, but we can’t use paint that will stick to the ground. Oh recession, how I love thee. Another funny but sometimes annoying thing this recession has brought us is higher prices. And not just that, but in some of the least likeliest places. Take a look:

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I thought the point of a dollar store was that everything was $1, ha ha. It’s funny they had to post a sign (might I add, they were plastered all over the store), but do you really think someone is going to complain at a dollar store. If you read my past blog, you’d know there’s some prick out there who probably would.

BONUS: Police fail spelling test

I was at the police station the other day filling out some paperwork (ask for the details if you want to know), and I see a poster saying how to spot marijuana crops and how illegal they are. All’s fair, those people are stealing land, but the fucking cops couldn’t eve spell marijuana right. Fucking hilarious!

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Note: It’s in the banner. Marijuana is spelt “marihuana”.

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3 Responses to “Wi-fi, spelling and the recession”

  1. I’m joining Twitter. But not for conventional reasons. I think of jokes or see interesting things I’d like to note throughout the day. That’s what my Twitter is for, me to keep track of my own shit. I don’t care if anyone else reads it. Unless I’m plugging my blog, then you’d better read it. lol

  2. LMFAO BOII!!!! so true, love you wifey!!!

    awesome blog, as always i enjoyed it.

  3. Lexus!!!!!!! Says:

    lol i absolutly loved this one alex!!!!!!! lol my gurl for life kristin will love it too i bet lol hahahahaha!!!!!!! better hurry with ur new one lol me and kris always wait for them lol and you actually have me looking around for things for you to blog about now too lol

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