Happy St. Patrick’s Day, now fuck off!

Before I begin this blog, I’d just like to mention I have nothing against the Irish, nor have I ever. The Irish are a great group of people. That said, if you’re Irish, read this and get offended or pissed just remember your dumb ass kept reading on after this warning.

Today is March 17th, which means it’s time for everyone (and when I say everyone I mean the hacks who think beer colored a different color is a reason to celebrate) to go out and drink. People don’t get that St.Patrick had absolutely NOTHING to do with alcohol, right? He wasn’t even the patron saint of anything like love or war. He was the patron saint of Ireland. It doesn’t take a fucking wikipedia page to tell anyone that. And aside from what everyone thinks, green is not associated with St.Patrick or St.Patrick’s day. It was an Americanized idea brought overseas. Don’t believe me? Look it up.

st-patrick

So searching for a blog topic, I find this one easy to write. And I know now I’m gonna get people who like it, and can take a joke. And then they’re will be those ones who knock me for my lack of creativity and tell me that this blog just wasn’t quite what they expected. It’s all for a laugh people, stop taking this so seriously haha. I like a lot of the things I write about, I just find some easy to poke fun at.

I’m not getting into the history of St.Patrick as a person, or how the tradition was started. There’s plenty more to make fun of and I’m getting right to it (after rambling on for three paragraphs of course)

St.Patricks Day is an excuse to get drunk, forget your responsibilities and act like a moron who thinks they are a beer connoisseur at any and every pub. And do you notice how every person who goes to an Irish pub seems to act like they have just a little bit of Irish in them so they can fit in? We can spot you pastey white motherfuckers from a mile away. Just cause you researched Guinness before coming here doesn’t make you an expert.

st-pats-drunks

Four leafed clovers, what’s the deal? These are not just related to St.Patricks Day but it’s when they are most brought up. Ask anyone what a four leafed clover looks like and I’m sure you can get a description or maybe even a drawing on a cheap cocktail napkin. But ask those same people what each leaf means, and half of them if not more will have no clue what the fuck you’re talking about.

4-leaf-clover

Leprechauns, those magical green bastards that are impossible to catch. The legend says if you catch a leprechaun, he will give you the treasure at the end of the rainbow. This sounds like a tale from a drunk person more then a story I’d hear and think “fuck, why are we sitting here?! Let’s go get us some gold!”. Aside from that, they’ve always been portrayed as midget (little people for all you political correct jerks), and wearing lots of green. Clearly this is the idea and tale of a drunk man because no way would anyone of regular proportions not be able to outrun a midget.

p.s. has anyone ever found Lucky from the Lucky Charms commercials to just be a little offsetting, in a pedophile way. The dude hangs around with kids all the time claiming “they’re after me lucky charms”. Sick fucking bastard.

cereal

BONUS: Honestly Nike, you wasted your money on this?!

nike-air-stab-wmns-st-patri

You can wear these shoes maybe once, twice a year and that’s it. It looks like something out of Neverland Ranch.

I hope I didn’t offend anyone in this blog, especially the Irish. Hopefully you can all take a joke. I have a four leafed clover of my own, I do know the meanings of the leaves, I can understand the people who wanna go out and drink cause they hardly get to, and lastly I like Lucky Charms as a cereal. But seriously, fuck Nike for making those retarded shoes.

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2 Responses to “Happy St. Patrick’s Day, now fuck off!”

  1. Lexus!!!!! Says:

    OK so it wasn’t as funny as the others ones but i actually liked it. I found it to be very informative….in a wierd way lol!!!!! keep up the good work alex!!!!!!!!!

  2. since my alas was taken 2 times, I am just going to stick to my name LMAO… sorry! This was a Good Blog!… This was my frist st. patricks day out and I am not sad to say I didnt enjoy myself one bit.

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