Blogs, tweens, and missing books of the Bible

Everyone else has probably written there eleven or twelfth million blog, but this one is my first, so fuck off if. I’m kidding, but keep reading. I thought about what I could write, and nothing came to mind. Who really reads blogs, and even if they do are they even the least bit mildly interested in them? Let’s keep this short so I can get right to it to keep you all at least somewhat interested in my blogging endevours. Have you ever had something that annoyed the shit out of you, or made you piss your pants with laughter?  I have and I hope someone shares my experiences, so here goes.

Things that annoy me:

1. Blogs people read but have no interest in reading, Honestly, I don’t read blogs  a whole lot but if it doesn’t catch my interest in the slightest, I wouldn’t give two shits about what Joe Blow has to say. Or when someone shows (more like annoyingly shoves) their website in your face. If I wanna know how your website is doing, I would ask you how your site is doing and when I can proudly visit bungpiece.com.

picture-1

2.What has this world come to? Why do most tweens find an obsession with dressing like tramps, and why do the guys have an obsession with trying to get a piece from these sluts of society? You’re 13 or 14, go put on some clothes for your age and go watch a Hannah Montana DVD. I go to the mall to shop, occasionally eat, and wander (which leads me always to Freshly Squeezed), but I don’t go to see some tweens stick figure hanging out for the world to view. I’d rather eat, throw up, then swallow it again.

tween-phone

There was another picture I saw, but it was too disgusting even for my blog. If you wanna check it out, here’s the link..

3. BONUS: Harvey’s, you DON’T take debit?! After hearing this outrageous news from my brother Rodger (check out his blog here. Or don’t, I’m not forcing it on anyone), I have decided to boycott the Eaton’s Centre Harvey’s. How do you like them apples? Ha!

harveys

Things that make me laugh:

Walking around the mall the other day, as I sometimes find myself doing, I see plenty of weird shit, such as:

secret-policeman1

This is one step away from porn. Not really, but I had no interest in seeing what the movie was about after reading the title. The sequel I was told was out of stock, “The Secret Policeman’s Sex Change”.

Another thing I found gutwrenchingly hilarious:

lost-bible

Are you serious?! “Lost Books Of The Bible”! And not just that, but it’s for dummies too. We must all be dummies then. I don’t know anyone who knew there was lost books of the Bible. Have you ever heard the gospel according to Rufus? No, because they left that poor sap out. The whole book is hilarious, so I don’t know why it was in the religious section. I tried to move them to the fiction section and I got kicked out. And who in their right mind would buy that book?

BONUS: With the censorship and ratings boards running amock these days, the easiest way to get a pair of tits on the front of your book anyone can grab: make it about the history of rock. Way to beat the system, sir.

rock

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5 Responses to “Blogs, tweens, and missing books of the Bible”

  1. For your first blog that was pretty good haha .. anyways..I thought it was gonna be more..about playa playas and shit LMFAO!! haha IM disappointed LOL haha jk jk it was good 😛 cuz thats how we rolll haha

  2. Dick Inthabutt Says:

    lost books of the bible for dummies. can you imagine what kind of guy you might see with that book at the register? hahaha

    good work man, keep it up. 🙂

  3. Pretty rockin first blog, you make me laugh out loud! keep it up 🙂

  4. you’re a natural blogger, alex.

    this whole thing is soooooo true! can’t wait for the next one!

  5. YAY BOOBS!!!

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